I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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