I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
