I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
