Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
These tits shall not be calmed
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
