My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
3 2 1 whiskey
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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