i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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