Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
