I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
