The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
