How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I want a musical about memes.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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