They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
