just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just googled if crying burns calories
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
