Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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