Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i barfeds in our rink
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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