i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
