ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
