Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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