and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
