Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
There are leaves in my underwear?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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