I cockslap morals
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I love you.
Bad choice
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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