I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
