I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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