OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
