just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
