Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
