The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
