i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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