I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
