she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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