waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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