is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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