dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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