I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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