we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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