He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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