so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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