Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
