I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
