Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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