i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
