I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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