he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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