i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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