Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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