Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
More tranny stories later!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
