Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
