i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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