Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I will be naked everywhere
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
