i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
