Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
