So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
