I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
