Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
