My friends, they love my intelligence
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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