Girls should come with a carfax report
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
